Death came knocking at my door today,Looking smart in his robe with his sickle. “I’ve come to take your soul.” he said.Oh man, was I in a pickle. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, “How ‘bout we make a deal?”My mind was racing now, desperately crafting my appeal. He sighed heavily, like a child starting a Continue reading →
Category: Everyday Adventures
Numbing my Netherlands
I didn’t deliberately set out to cause myself excruciating pain. For those of you that know me, my alter ego is a dirtbag. I don’t wear makeup. I have Asian hair, so I don’t even have to brush it in the morning. Now that I work from home, it’s pretty much all jammers, all day. Continue reading →
Kitchen Chaos: The Blender Battle I Never Should Have Started
“BLEND ALREADY, YOU STUPID FUCKING VEGETABLES!!!” • • • It’s Day 7 of my chewless torture raw food cleanse and my shake game is on point. The night before I gather all the veggies. They get separated into their recipe groups, then sliced, diced, and packaged for the next day. As I wake the calming Continue reading →
Day 6: The Secret Love Affairs of Fruits and Vegetables
When I was younger, my grandma was in love with soap operas and watched them all day long. Guiding light, General Hospital, The Young and The Restless (this last one I am referencing me, not the soap). 6 days into my raw food cleanse, spending all day at home with the fruits and veggies is Continue reading →
Romaine Calm and Lettuce Pray I Survive My Raw Food Cleanse
It’s Day 3 of my first raw food cleanse. My poo is entirely green. Every day I plug my nose and suppress my gag reflex failingly, preparing to consume whatever putrid liquid is on the menu for the day. On the other hand, my partner has been downing the shakes/juices relatively unscathed, smacking his lips, Continue reading →