When I was younger, my grandma was in love with soap operas and watched them all day long. Guiding light, General Hospital, The Young and The Restless (this last one I am referencing me, not the soap).
6 days into my raw food cleanse, spending all day at home with the fruits and veggies is making me stir fry crazy.
I picture what their lives must be like, being cooped up in the cold fridge all day. I am scripting aproduce daytime drama.
Nice guy Spinach loves Red Pepper, but never gets his shot
S: Well hello there sweet thang, Orange you cute today! You’re Berry sexy and I think we’d make a great Pear.
RP: Oh Spinach, I am so done with your cheesy pick up Limes.
S: Listen Peps, Lettuce just talk. Kiwi be friends?
RP: Listen jerk, just Beet it.
S: I can’t help myself, I’ve Bean thinking about you for a while. Where did your Mango?
RP: You just wait, he’ll be here soon. You know he’s kind of a big Dill around here.
S: Bitch Peas. I’m not afraid of him.
RP: Are you finally going to grow a Pear and fight him for me?
• • •
Pickle boyfriend arrives: You want a peas of me?
S: Ya man, I’m gonna get all Jalapeño business.
Pickle: No you listen. My momma did a Grape job Raisin me. I ain’t no fighter. Lettuce Romaine calm ok?
S: Fine. <Looks at the sweet pepper and makes a gesture with his hands> Kale me later?
• • •
The Sweet Potato who fell for the common tater. A tale of forbidden love.
CT: Babe, you’re such a Peach. I love you.
SP: Love you too babe. You’re one in a Melon!
CT: Olive you from my head Tomatoes. Let’s run away and get married!!
SP: Oh no! I Cantaloupe, my Pearents would kill me!
CT: My love, I don’t Carrot all what they think!
SP: I’m so Grapeful to have you in my life. Lime yours forever!
CT: YES! Lettuce celebrate with a party! Cool Cucumber can DJ and Turnip the Beet!!!
• • •
I have too much time on my hands.
That was funny…
Hope the cleanse was worth it…I felt your pain and agree…yuk.
It was definitely… NOT… worth it. Blech!!