Everyone knows of the Angel on your right shoulder and the Devil on your left, but no one ever mentions the third Musketeer – your Inspo Ghostie
When you’re 3 cups of coffee deep, just trying to make it through the day, and the clock says it’s only 9 am — he’s the one that whispers, “You need to get out of this dead-end job.”
When the dress you’re trying on looks fabulous, but you think you’ll never have the occasion to wear it — he’s the one who whispers, “Buy it! You are a sexy bitch. Find a party to wear it to.”
Your Inspo Ghostie inspires you to live your best life because life is too short to settle for anything less.
He knows our secret dreams we barely admit to ourselves. He knows the adventures we want that we don’t dare to plan.
When he whispers, sometimes you have no choice but to listen and embark on a new adventure.
• • •
I was languishing in my sales bullpen, staring at my phone, hoping to close deals by sheer will. My manager was looming with his perma “What are you bringing in today?” idiot face.
I was in Glengarry Glen Ross hell.
Enter Inspo Ghostie
“He’s making that face again, you hate that face.”
“Ghostie, not now. It’s the end of the month and I have to focus”
“Why? You already won the steak knives. Let’s do something fun.”
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I’m on the phone with a client.”
“You know you’ve always wanted to travel…”
“Ghostie, I’m warning you.”
Inspo Ghostie shrugged his shoulders and walked away. He returned pushing two 3-foot speakers and an amp. ‘Eye of the Tiger’ blared in my ears.
It was time for a change.
• • •
I decided. I am going to be a Tour Leader.
No particular rhyme or reason. Not based on any qualified skills. Didn’t even know what the job entailed.
Thanks, Ghostie.
• • •
I found a local adventure tour company and applied online. The questions seemed straightforward until,
they’re in Spanish.
Who switches languages in the middle of a questionnaire? These people were madmen — further solidifying that I had made the right choice.
Learning Spanish was a tomorrow problem. How important could speaking the language be anyway? (Spoiler: infinitely important)
I had to stay focused. Thank you, Google Translate and ‘cut and paste’.
• • •
Convinced a clerical error was the sole reason they hadn’t responded to my application, I decided to visit their office.
Receptionist, aka Cock-Blocker: “You can’t see anyone. You have to email.”
Me: “I did email. No one responded. That’s why I’m here.”
Receptionist: <Shoulder shrug and a blank stare>
Saved by the New Guy
New Guy walks into reception.
New Guy: Hi there, do you have any questions?
Me: Yes! Who are you?
New Guy: Oh I’m Adam, I do all of the hiring for the Tour Leaders.
Me: <Blink, blink> <mouth agape>
// Begin Embarrassing segue
So maybe, on the way to apply for a Tour Leading position, I got lost and someone helped me find my way to the building. En route, I may have been babbling about being a tour leader with the enthusiasm of a small child describing their favourite fish in the tank at school to an overtired parent.
Turns out, my GPS stranger was the manager of African Operations for the tour company and had sent Adam down to talk to me.
// End segue that turned out well after all
“Why should we hire you as a Tour Leader?”
I took a deep breath and delivered my best sales pitch.
“Well… I’ve never actually been on a group tour. I haven’t travelled in Central America outside of Costa Rica. Oh… and I don’t speak Spanish.“
Adam looked at me sideways, trying to figure out what kind of an idiot I was.
But I came in with the hard close. (Sales has taught me well.)
“BUUUUUT… I’m super fun, organisation level: OCD, and I’ll learn everything I need to learn, fast. I’ll even pay for my own ticket down there, and you can pay me back at the end of my contract. What have you got to lose?“
I’m pretty sure I looked like a puppy that just peed on the floor but I was so cute and so excited and so just wanted to be a Good Girl, that he couldn’t resist.
He sighs. “Alright. Let’s give it a go then”. He tells Cock-Blocker to take my information for onboarding.
Me, staring in disbelief at what just happened (Image by (Joenomias) Menno de Jong from Pixabay)
• • •
The next day I strut into work like I have a hot air balloon in my chest and cheekily hand in my resignation.
My manager reads it and asks me what I’m going to do. I tell him and he says, “You’re 31. Why don’t you just get married and have kids or something?”
“Why don’t you get a life and mind your own business?” (Ghostie flips him the bird.)
The good thing about burning bridges is that you’re never tempted to go back.
Me leaving the office (Source Tenor)
• • •
I feel equal parts euphoric and terrified.
Ghostie grinned at me and gave me two thumbs up.
“Fuck you Ghostie,” I said as I prepared for my adventure.
Hi Michelle.
I can’t believe that it was ten years ago you did the travel guide thing. The stories are still as hilarious as when you would tell me about your adventures. Fun to hear them again…I’m still laughing. ..
Hopefully I’ve hooked you now. First post is free….