Original post date: October 10, 2008
… is not unlike coming face to face with a fire-breathing dragon, complete with smelly sulfur breath and steam emanating from his nostrils and pores.
I recently stepped off a bum numbing, 7 hour bus ride from San Jose, Costa Rica to Rivas, Nicaragua. (I am currently on a solo training trip where basically I do the trip without passengers to figure my shit out). Shortly after being ripped off, (I still had my HEY! I´m a Tourist! T-shirt on) I joined the herd of people climbing onto the already jammed ‘chicken boat’ – a 2 level passenger dingy.
The top level was stuffed with ginormus woven baskets filled with limes, pineapples, and tamales, a motorcycle, giant bunches of plantains (fat green bananas on steroids) and various pieces of luggage. On the lower level I missed stepping on a couple of chickens by inches and my bag almost landed on a rooster. He let out a big squawk and eyed my toes with contempt. Vendors navigated the minimal foot space between buckets of fish and burlap sacks filled with coconuts, rice, and grains selling their wares. Desperate for his last sale, one vendor barely made it back to the dock. He seemed rather calm despite having one foot on the dock and the other on a rapidly departing boat. With that I was on my way to Ometepe – an island created by 2 giant volcanoes emerging out of Lake Nicaragua.
Volcan Concepcion is 1600 meters tall, ACTIVE, and dangerous to climb – naturally making it the first thing on my list to do. The day started with us climbing into the back of a rickety old pick up truck with a random Aussie, and 3 300 pound, corn-fed Canadian football jocks (eh?)
The pick up truck died 20 minutes into the journey and as we waited by the side of the road for reinforcements, I wondered what this hike was going to do to my month long, ice cream and chocolate fed body.
We started our ascent up the volcano and 45 minutes in, the Aussie bailed (he was literally sweating alcohol). 2 of the Canucks bailed after 2 hours, suffering from muscle and heat exhaustion. And then there were 3.
We had lunch at either 800 meters or 1200 meters. I don´t know for sure because our guide was sort of lying to us the whole time (Not that I´m bitter) He spent 75% of the hike trying to convince us that for fear of shifting ground and explosive gases that we should turn back. Although there was some truth to it, he made it sound as if we would spontaneously combust if we went any further.
We pressed on for about an hour more before the last Canadian was cramping so badly he couldn´t even stand. Having legitimately wrung out his shirt 6 times, he was severely dehydrated and out of salt. (He had to be carried down half way and was taken to the hospital!!) At about that time we met another guy coming down and his guide recommended we not go any further as it would be too dark by the time we came down.
Quit now? Are you kidding me??
Having spent the entire hike trying to find reasons to leave us, our lazy ass guide took this as his opportunity, wished us luck and told us to be careful. With one bottle of water left, no flashlight, no guide, and no real idea of how we got there in the first place, we scrambled on. On my Top 10 list of – Stupidest Things I Have EVER Done, this easily makes #7.
We continued on, along a not so well marked path, scrambling up rocks, and grabbing at plant stalks that apparently weren´t rooted to anything. We Hansel and Grettle-ed it by leaving various personal possessions along the way, hoping to find our way back.
Climbing the last hour in ash and volcanic rock, we summited the crater.
EPIC!!!!
Staring in you could see the crater walls, steam emanating like little mini volcanoes, and the smell of sulfur filling the air. It’s hard to do it justice with pictures, but watch this video to see what it’s like to look into the mouth of a dragon
We did a little volcano dance, walked long the edge of the crater, prayed to the volcano gods to not erupt on us, then started our descent.
We thought we were making good time until we realized the path we were on was not so much the path we came up on, or even a path at all really, but an area decimated by volcanic ash that had flattened the plant life previously (and perhaps not so long ago. Yikes!!)
We somehow managed to find a lava flow that we had climbed up earlier and made it into the forest just as the sun was starting to set. It´s amazing how quickly the welcoming forest with friendly trees transformed into a dark, not so enchanted forest with rustling trees, glowing eyeballs, and fleeting fireflies. The 45 minutes it should have taken us to escape, doubled to 90 minutes as we stumbled through the darkness with only a fading pen light (only discovered an hour into the darkness) to guide us. Sensing movement, we narrowly missed being trampled by a random white horse that was trotting along towards us.
Like a drunken party night out, I barely remember how we made it home to safety.
The next morning, we had to switch taxis because lava flow FROM THE VOLCANO WE JUST CLIMBED had spilled over and blocked one of the roads. (Not that I could have gone anywhere anyway as my legs, bum, and arms were on strike)
This cheating death stuff is getting old. I think tomorrow I´ll visit the waterfall.