Day 7: Cleanse Tips 101

The ONLY way for you to survive a cleanse without killing your partner is to do all of your prepping in advance. Period. The night before you gather and wash all your veggies.  You separate them into their recipe groups, slice, dice, and package them up for the next day.  You rise in the morning Continue reading →

Day 6: The Secret Love Affairs of Fruits and Vegetables

When I was younger, my grandma was in love with soap operas and watched them all day long.  Guiding light, General Hospital, The Young and The Restless (this last one I am referencing me, not the soap). 6 days into my raw food cleanse, spending all day at home with the fruits and veggies is Continue reading →

Romaine Calm and Lettuce Pray I Survive My Raw Food Cleanse

It’s Day 3 of my first raw food cleanse. My poo is entirely green. Every day I plug my nose and suppress my gag reflex failingly, preparing to consume whatever putrid liquid is on the menu for the day. On the other hand, my partner has been downing the shakes/juices relatively unscathed, smacking his lips, Continue reading →

Why Cleanse If I Like Being Dirty Inside?

Some idiot (me) decided it would be a good idea to “do a cleanse” after the gluttonous holiday season.  This 30-day cleanse would ‘flush the body of toxins,’ causing our skin to become clearer and glow. Our organs would be surrounded by rainbows and held in place by magical unicorns. • • • We publicly Continue reading →