…and some really, REALLY ugly ones to average out the gene pool.
Original post date: November 9, 2008
Nowhere is this discrepancy so great than in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. A tourist Mecca, 5th avenue is one block up from the beach and is lined with all the trendy shops – Diesel, Starbucks, K Swiss, and Hagen Daaz. Sexy chiquitas looking to spend daddy´s or the slick haired/balding beau´s money, walk the avenue and fill the shops.
All the beautiful people have come out to play. Perfectly tanned bodies line the beach. Stuff that should be sagging remains perfectly upright. Skimpy outfits look just barely painted on. Surfer dudes with perfectly chiseled abs and beach babes pretend to play volleyball. College kids on their resort vacations pretending to be world travelers disappear into the 2 for 1 drink specials where every hour is Happy Hour.
On the other hand, anyone worried about whales becoming extinct, should come down to Playa del Carmen. As far as the eye can see, tourist whales lay beached in the sand – their pasty white cum lobster burnt skin sizzling in the sun. Looking at their overstuffed bellies, instinctively you can smell bacon cooking.
Gentlemen: Speedos are NOT a right. If I never see another budgie smuggler again, it will be too soon.
Really – I don´t CARE if you´re European…
Ladies: – Do you know what a middle aged woman has between her breasts that a pert young teenager doesn´t? A Belly Button. Tip: Full support bikini tops and cover ups are your friends.
Holding down the middle ground are the budget travelers with their foreign beer T-shirts, fake and bakes with overdue dye jobs flashing their bling, and cougars who look `really good for their age`.
Walking the strip, it is difficult to maintain your sanity with vendors at every turn fishing for tourists – each shop selling the exact same T-shirts and tacky kitsch as the next. Tour operators verbally molesting you as you walk by. “Hey Barbie!!” (popular with blonds), “Yo Canada!” … anything to get you to stop and look. Yesterday 2 of my passengers and I were “Charlie´s Angels”.
Hmphf. I´d rather be Wonder Woman – at least that way I could catch some cute surfer boy with my magic lasso…