Tips for planning your camping trips

A seasoned traveler, I am.  A planner, I am not.

My good friend Zorny-Poo told me about her dream of hiking the Appalachian trail, a 5-6 month trek from Georgia to Maine.  So proud, I immediately volunteered to be her training and travel partner.  That meant working up to being able to hike long distances, camping out underneath the stars, and carrying your own weight in supplies.  We decided to start with the first two for now.

2 days in to our trip, I have some tips that may help those who are planning any camping trips in the future.

TIP #1: PLAN YOUR TRIP

This seems pretty straight forward, however up until 3 days before we were supposed to leave we had no idea where we were going.  I thought we were going to the Finger Lakes in the US.  She didn’t know we were going at all.

Communication is key.

TIP #2: Decide when you are actually going to leave

Sometimes 10 am, really means 11:45 am + shopping means 12:45 pm.

TIP #3:  Do your shopping the night before.  DO NOT shop when you are hungry.

I repeat, DO NOT shop when you are hungry. (This also applies when not camping).  You end up with twice as much stuff as you need and you have to explain the half eaten package of cheese rolls when you get to the cashier.

TIP #4: Eat a healthy breakfast

If you don’t, the cheese rolls will not sustain you, and you will find yourself waiting in the Wendy’s drive-thru line, ordering a spicy chicken combo and a 99 cent frosty.  You will eat it like a boss in the car, sweating in the midday sun, wondering if you are ever going to get to Algonquin Park.

TIP #5: Bring a mascot

At the end of the day when you are a sweaty hot mess and don’t want a selfie, the mascot is a good stand in.  We chose our beaver, and named him Chewey.

TIP #6: Take cool pictures

   

TIP #7: Bring snacks. 3 hours into the Day 1 hike I licked Zorny-Poo’s arm.  Unfortunately she was very salty, and it’s bad for my cholesterol.

TIP #8: Make sure you like the person you are hiking with.

If they don’t like you, they may try to push you off…

TIP #9: Is multi-part, all related to relieving yourself

• Wait as long as possible before breaking the seal. As soon as you open the flood gates you will find yourself peeing all over the trail.
• Ladies: make sure your squat is wide enough so you don’t pee on your shoes. This may take a few times to perfect.
• Bring toilet paper: Otherwise your only choices are to air dry, shake it off with a butt wiggle, a fern, or dry leaves.
• Finally, ALWAYS have a sentinel watching the trail. The last thing you want is to be interrupted mid stream by a small child, eyes wide with horror.

TIP #10: Plan your time accordingly

For example, if you fall asleep at multiple lookout points because you are too hot / tired / hungry, this may severely impede your ability to complete the second trail you have planned for the day.

TIP #11: If your friend falls asleep, amuse yourself by taking funny pictures of them

TIP #12: DO NOT pretend to fall off one of the cliffs and circle back to surprise your friend.

They will NOT appreciate it.  (Weird right?)

TIP #12: Bring more snacks.  ZP decides to take a nap 3 quarters of the way on Day 2.  When I looked over at her she looked like a delicious, sleeping BBQ Chicken.

TIP #13: ALWAYS make sure everyone is wearing deodorant.  Even if it means turning the car around just after you’ve pulled out of the driveway.  Otherwise you will have to spend the entire hike ensuring any smelly deviants are downwind.

TIP #14: Bring insect repellent.  There are plenty of mosquitoes, but in reality only one is actually assigned to you.  It’s the one that follows you, for the entire fucking trail, in your ear, no matter how madly you wave your hands around in the air.  He’s there.  Buzzing in your ear.  Driving you insane.

Bring repellent.

And lastly, above all else, HAVE FUN and don’t sweat the small stuff – even if you are sweating on the outside…

Click to watch: The Full Adventure