I am a firm believer in everyone getting outside their comfort zone.
My niece is no exception.
I am always looking for new and exciting ways to spend time with her. For our awesome Niece-Aunty Adventures, I give her options and let her choose the one she’d like to do.
Then invariably, I bend her to my will and we do what I secretly want to do.
Can anyone be a hero?
Specifically, a Mud Hero. For the adult race, it’s a 6 km course with obstacles such as climbing rope ladders, jumping over wooden walls, navigating cross wires, and crawling under camo nets.
The kid’s version is only 500 m with a few mini obstacles and culminates with swimming/wading/crawling through a giant, sloshy pool of mud.
I asked my brother if my niece would be into this and he said, “Well, she likes to jump in puddles.”
I figured I was in the clear. What kid doesn’t want to have fun and get a little dirty?
(Now I know of at least one)
• • •
After a McGriddle breakfast of champions, we set off to be Heroes. My niece knew exactly what she was in for and was very excited.
l later realized it was an “I’m so excited to go bungee jumping! But then shit your pants and don’t want to do it when you actually get there” kind of excited.
The Long and Muddy Road
The walk from the parking lot was a sloppy, hot mess. We were slipping and sliding like giraffes on roller skates.
That my niece was fanatically avoiding all puddles and mud, but wanting me to step in them was a premonition I chose to ignore.
With our bib number and race T-shirt, we were super excited – until we got to the start gate with all the other kids and parents.
As I spend more time with my niece, I am familiarizing myself with the mercurial nature of these small people. Everything is sunshine and rainbows one moment and a catastrophic calamity the next.
We’re cheering and jumping up and down ready to start the race, then she’s yawning, then crying.
The race was starting in 30 seconds. What is happening?
The Race is A (muddy) foot
We have a moment and we pull it together. Everyone is happy again and we are ready to go. My partner is the film crew and we are off and running.
She takes down the first obstacle like it’s nothing, then climbs up the ramp and slides down the other side. What a powerhouse!
But wait — she’s sad again and scared of the second obstacle — which is exactly the same as the first one.
This is why I don’t have children.
Ok. No problem. We don’t have to do that one. We’re off and she’s happy running again. She kills the balance beam obstacle and we are in it to win it.
Over the next few obstacles, for my niece, The Mud is LAVA.
She does not want to touch it. She does not want to smell it. Some mud got on her arm and it was as if it was eating her alive.
We go back to just running. This is the happy place. Everyone is laughing and the unicorns are back.
• • •
She’s climbing up rope ladders and she’s beaming. This was such a good idea.
At the top, she remembers where she is. Fear envelops her. I reach up to help her down and she is dry heaving inches from my face.
I was now a Barf Hero.
The Forging of a Champion
We are almost done — only the infamous Mud Pool to go.
She stops cold.
We’re looking at the pool. Have we come this far to walk away?
We get into a quick huddle. Can we do this? Are we going to be heroes today? Are we willing to try?
This is our reality show, and NO ONE is leaving during the commercial break.
• • •
After what seems like an eternity, she says she’s willing to try.
Hand in hand we slide towards the pool.
…
… and fall in.
THE POOL IS LAVAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
She’s crying. My partner is giving me a stern ‘I told you so’ look. Inside I am dying laughing.
I wipe away the snot and we finish the last balance beam obstacle with some sniffling.
A Strong Finish
We get to the finish line and she gets her medal. She holds it up and says “I am a WINNER!” and how proud of herself she is.
If kids were superheroes, their secret power would be the ability to repress traumatic memories.
She is smiling ear to ear like she was just flashed with the Men In Black Neuralyzer and has completely forgotten the last 5 minutes.
That my friends, is how one builds character.
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